As anyone would expect, this week has been a tough one and it's been nice to be able to 'check out' for a few days and wallow in my grief. I'm starting to feel a bit better, a bit more sane and moving towards accepting my new reality.

On Wednesday, my mother, Eric and I flew to from Fargo to Chicago to spend a few days together. Then my Aunt Pat (his sister) and her daughter (my cousin) Molly flew in for the weekend. We looked at old photographs, shared memories, talked about the times we'll miss and even managed to squeeze in a game of Pitch, a card game we often played at family gatherings.

In looking at the pictures, I realized he was always sitting next to me at important events or dinners. On our wedding day, he sat next to me (my husband was on the other side), when my grandmother passed last January, he sat next to me (again Eric was on the other side) and this morning at breakfast, just by happenstance the chair next to me was empty (but Eric was still on the other side). I started to internalize some what I have been telling myself - how he is still with me, how he will live on through my life - and the messages friends and family have been sharing - how he will live on in theirs. Good thing he was so prolific!

Tomorrow I will go back to work and my mom will fly home. I hope for her the transition returning home goes as well as it can. My uncle (her brother) will meet her at the airport and walk into the house with her. I understand some neighbors will turn the heat up and maybe even leave a few provisions (half and half for coffee) to make those first few hours seem less cold. So far, she's been incredibly strong, but the days ahead may be difficult ones. There are many messages to reply to and I'm sure your support will be so important in the coming days.

My brother and his family will fly to PA and be able to help with some of the 'checklists' that need to be tackled. It will be good for both of them to spend some time together and for Andy to be able to share his memories with you, as I am doing here.